名字

what's in a name?

王勤辉
David Wang
DWang
Dizzy D
老外 “lao wai"- a somewhat derogatory for a foreigner.

today i learned about my name. it's odd how some things that seem so simple are usually the ones that you have never really looked at. people says they know thing "like the back of their hand." but do i really know what the back of my hand looks like?

and maybe it's just me. for some, it's all bull. why analyze your name? it's part of life and they understand how their name should work and how does work. it's natural. but, unfortunately, i'm not one of those people. it amazes me when today, i was told by the chinese college friend that ACC provides for us if we so desire, that my name (勤辉 qinhui) sounds chinese, but it's the kind of name kids laugh at now. it means "hardworking and successful." imagine sitting in class in high school and the teacher calling out a name like that. that kid's got a lot of pressure coming both in the form of expectations and contempt from the less brilliantly named kids. chinese names are different in that they have an immediate meaning. for example, "david" carries with it certain connotations, Jewish being the most prominent, but how many people know what it means from looking at the letters. (It means "beloved" by the way.) but the characters that make up chinese name have an obvious use and meaning in the current language. naming in chinese take a lot more creativity than english, if you want a good name.

my language partner described how nobody wants to share a name with anyone (out of the billion people here). she doesn't want to copy a celebrity's name. she wants to give here a unique name. her name was so unique that one of the characters wasn't in the normal computer dictionary.

anyway, my name isn't as cool as i thought it was. when i tell chinese people my name and they look at me and ask me why i have a chinese name, is their surprise filled with humor and shock? aiya, funny how the meanings my chinese name contains makes me proud but only because it was in a language i didn't understand that seemed exotic and special. but i'm still proud of it. i've always thought about naming my kids something new and unusual. not "glory" or "hardworking" but something cool and with meaning.

but the next name is filled with uncertainty: 老外 "lao wai." (foreigner but also historically used to describe barbarian invaders). my roommate and i played basketball with a bunch of chinese outside for a couple hours. our team one pretty much every game, and we developed a decent audience. but they kept laughing and saying "lao wai.... 什么的什么的" but i couldn't understand. it's tough not knowing the labels given to you.

on one hand it distances you from the labels and gives you a chance to realize that the meaning of a name is hollow. david, qinhui, laowai, each one is different, but i'm still me. playing basketball, i knew they were talking about me and laughing but i couldn't understand what, and so i didn't care. i wish it all of life could be like that. you hear your name but just don't care, just don't understand that it means any thing more than indication of a certain person.